The Better Person

I wish I could be a better person-- the person whom I thought

I was, but never was...

To ask so much of myself, and to let it take control of me to be

the not so better person I am now.

I've always dealt with stressful emotional problems.

But I haven't learned to let go,

to let go and forget--the absence of thinking,

I have to let go.

To let my emotions take over and push my urge for attention,

to be noticed, not ignored, and again for them to notice

I'm still there--and, yet, at the same time, i play a game

of hide-and-seek for them to find me...unintentionally.

I didn't realize or bother to look, until now, at the texture of

the outside of my shell,

to view myself as a not so great person I

thought I was, despite all the wonderful

and nice things I have done within.

But I want to change myself to be a better person, the better

person whom I yearn to be,

the better person for the better,

for myself and my surroundings.

I will be positive, I will let go, and I will not let it take control

of me, no matter how much I urge for attention--

...because

I am not a burden, never a burden. I will not hate myself.

I am not ignored,

because I have true friends.

I will never ever be that same jerk I have

been, but I learned how much I

actually caused the suffering for

not just for myself...

but for those around me as well.

If I believe I am a burden to myself and to others, because

of this, they are my friends to be there for me to help, but

then again, I must let go, forget, and fall...

and hope I land on my feet

because I will try really hard to learn from my life

mistakes I have come to realize,

to be a better person--the person whom I thought I was,

but never was...