Michelle+Hapkido=Balance?

Inside classroom for PE, watching a video about self-defense.

Video: Martial arts like Ju Jitsu and Hapkido help improve your balance.

Friends crack up.

Friend: That doesn't sound right.

**Michelle has taken band and is in Hapkido and still has no sense of balance...AT ALL.

Not Asian Enough

"Forgive me for my cruddy writing. I just bs-ed it because I'm doing homework."

- - - - -

Stereotype. It's peer pressure.

"Your parents don't look Asian."

I remember hearing one of my friends saying that when I was younger when I showed them a photo of my parents. What made them not look Asian?

Their eyes look big.

I look at some of my other Asian friends, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc, and some of the Asian celebrities online. Vietnamese people usually don't have as slanted eyes as other south-eastern Asians, but there are still those who do. And when I look at Asians with pretty narrow eyes, I envy them and wish I had eyes like those too.

I was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom tonight and I thought to myself how I didn't really look so pretty compared to other Asian girls. I have the side bangs...And I try putting on lip gloss. I look at my eyebrows and try making them more narrow and pretty. If only I had some eye liner and some foundation or something.

I look at myself in the mirror again. Ugly. My eyebrows are still ugly and bushy. And my forehead is humongous... even worse of it all...my eyes are too big...

I went back to my room and put lotion all over my face in place of foundation, hoping my skin would look more smooth and such. Then I grabbed the roll of scotch tape and took pieces of tape to pull back my eyes to make it more narrow, curved, and pretty. And I push down the tape on my face to make the tape as transparent as possible. I look at myself in the mirror again and I think.

I must be so desperate, but I wish I had prettier eyes like these...or better, without the tape.

I try to think of my good points that "make me Asian."

At least I try to speak my own language, and I can read/write in Vietnamese, though I still have a long way to go to be fluent in Vietnamese.

I feel like crying on the inside though, because I'm not a skinny Asian enough to fit an Ao dai during Tet. And I'm not so pretty like my other cousins with my pretty long flowing hair, etc.

I don't even have a Vietnamese accent...

Stereotype kills self-esteem.

I don't feel Asian enough.

How Long Will You Last? (Another Penhall Moment)

4th period English Honors 2 discusses the CAHSEE a week before testing.

Lily: What if we aren't done by fourth period?

Mr. Penhall: We're having a study period. And besides, you're not going to take 4 or 5 periods taking the CAHSEE...

- - - - -

1st Day (modified Tuesday) of the English CAHSEE

Mr. Penhall: -takes attendance- Where's Lily?

Tiffany: Still taking the CAHSEE.

Mr. Penhall: You're kidding me... -shocked smile-

Lily comes in a few minutes after class starts.

Lily: I couldn't take it anymore... I was soooo bored!

Snip and Cut

"I'm halfway done with my first TTAAP Film Short's storyboard and script =] It's based off Sami's 'Reflections on Culture' blog post."

- - - - -

I remember before I became more aware of our declining economy, especially before this schoolyear, everything seemed to be fine. Now anything from teacher protests to housing foreclosures are almost a naturally familiar topic of the days. Any thought of spending money was crucially thought out and as this economy gets worse every single day that passes by, the more scared people get of losing everything they once had in their everyday life.

I suppose I never thought about it, but my dad didn't truly start struggling and complaining about his money crisis until last year during fall marching band season. Almost every day I went to rehearsal, my dad would always lecture me on how much time band took up and how much money they used up. He used excuses like "they don't care about the students doing their homework or anything, they just want your money." It's not that my dad couldn't absolutely afford letting me join marching band, at least last year. I became angry that he pulled me out of band the next year because of his many complaints about it, but as I came to think about it...If I kept staying in band for the rest of my 3 years in high school...he'll surely go broke. Three thousand dollars per year is a lot of money to work for...

Awhile ago, my cousins' family on my mom's side moved to Arizona because the houses there were cheap and I remember visiting them winter break during freshman year. This year, both my cousins' families were forced to move back to California and find a new job and rent a new house or stay with another family. Times are getting tough and I feel like its all over the news now--people losing their jobs and homes. My dad recently has been talking about how long until he loses his job too and when we are forced to move when housing foreclosure hits us. So he tries to remind me as much as possible how lucky I am to have the possessions I have now, such as my own computer and room, a collection of loving stuffed animals, and even a dog.

A few years ago when I was younger, my dad used to get my little brother, Alex,  and I to find and help cut out the double coupons for Ralph's every Sunday to buy a surplus amount of groceries. Alex and I always dreaded bothering to cut and snip up every single coupon and matching them up with their double coupon and stapling them together. And let's not forget forget categorizing them in piles of what we need, what we want, and what we don't need period. As time passed by, Alex and I got lazier and the number of double coupons to cut out declined. Soon, there were even double coupons and they only came as one page. Today is March 17, 2009. Every Sunday, I never see the Ralph's coupons section anymore. Am I relieved? Somewhat. At the same time, I feel a bit of guilt now for not taking advantage of those last coupons. But when exactly was the last time I ever saw those coupons? Too long ago...

We need a miracle.

As graduation day senior year comes closer, although two years from now (but times flies by too fast), my dad gets more nervous about having to pay for a four-year college or a university, so recieving scholarships is extremely crucial. And with everyone almost in the same situation, theres going to be chaos in competition.

I don't know exactly how the rest of the country is doing right now...but in my world, if I were to describe the economy's role in our community in a one words, it'd be "chaotic."

I've never felt so much fear in the air in my life.

We're Going to "Penhall" This

I wanted to put this in Overheard in FVHS, but then I'd be violating the anonymous rule. And it wouldn't be funny without putting Mr. Penhall's name in there haha.

- - - - -

Lily: Mr. Penhall, my friend told me that when her class was reading a book, her teacher said they were going to "Penhall" it.

Penhall: Penhall it?

Lily: Yeah, like go through it fast.

(Later on)

Penhall: Okay, kids...Listen up and act like you care. We're going to practice for the CAHSEE. Whereas, some people will take hour studying for the CAHSEE, we'll take twenty minutes.

Lily: Alright...we're going to Penhall this... -determined face-

Guilty until Proven Guilty: Accused of Cheating

So two weeks ago, we had a lab and had to do a lab writeup in Chem. For one of the questions, I didn't know how to do a conversation from liters to mols and I asked another friend who was also in chem if she knew how. She told me 1 mol/22.4L. So I trusted her and used it for my calculations.

Two weeks later (today), after our chem test, my student teacher calls me up along with a couple of other students, one at a time, accusing us of cheating. She said 5 people had the same calculations all wrong using the same number. She asked me where I got 22.4 from when we haven't even learned about it yet.
I was like "From a friend."
"So you cheated off of her?"
"No, I just needed help and like---"
"I understand you guys get the same numbers on your data, but copying each other off for answers is not the right thing to do."

First of all, I didn't cheat...I did all the calculations and my whole write up, besides the data from the lab itself, by myself. And I got that simple number only from a friend. The rest on my own. So how the heck am I supposed to know I wasn't allowed to use 22.4L/1mol or w/e on my lab. The five other people who were also accused weren't even people I was closely associated with at all in my class either.

We tried bringing it up with the student teacher and Mr. Olsberg again and both got furious at us. "Do you want me to bring these papers up to the board? Do you guys want an honor code violation?" No... "Takes your papers. I''m tired of hearing your complaints and excuses. I don't ever want to see you cheating again."

The paper was a zero, but they said they weren't going to record it. At least, I think that's what they said.

So after, I went to my friend's Japanese class, the same one who told me 22.4L/1mol, right next to my 6th period Spanish2 class to rant. We were just talking about how ridiculous it was until my chem student teacher walked into the room, randomly. And I was just like "Crap, she's here O_O" and snuck back to my classroom before she caught my friends and I talking about the cheating issue.

Though, the zero didn't get recorded nor did I get an honor code violation, I was still pretty ticked off. They didn't even try to listen. But I kinda understand where they are coming from, having to deal with students all the time who actually do cheat or not. No one really knows the truth except for the person themself. Although it's very annoying...and I bet my student teacher's going to think I'm a kind of person who cheats now in Chem...how bothersome...She's going to be on my bad side for awhile. Mr. Olsberg too.

Sometimes I think adults treat us so harshly compared to their own peers. Where's our right for due process? Guilty! But--GUILTY! sheesh.
(I know, I'm too Phoenix Wright obsessed).

To My Handsome Sweet Valentine...

**Purposely made to be public

Dear Charliee "Cutie" Bi [Maikika],

(That's all I know of your full name so far, unless that's it lol).

You seem to come out of nowhere or maybe out of my dreams the moment after I began to wish there was someone out there for me. And your piece seemed to fix my jigsaw puzzle perfectly because I don't feel that hole I've had in me for awhile waiting and trying to find "the one" out there.

It's amazing, as I have never believed in love at first sight, we got off pretty fast when Tanh (Brian) introduced us together. Seeing what you looked like, every time I talked to Tanh after talking to you for the "first time" (technically, the first time was a few months ago, before Tanh got a phone and you were giving me a short message from him) like a friend with Tanh and Alice, I kept going on about how you were so cute and had an interesting personality. It somehow matched mine. It was crazy.

And, despite the fact, I became pessimistic for going anything past crushes, Tanh kept encouraging me on that you liked me. Me: "I bet you're just misunderstanding him. I doubt he does." And it seemed that you talked to him about the same exact thing. [You: Oh my gosh, what if she rejects me?!?!?!"] Tanh is like the all-mighty omniscient God. Haha :D He knows everything...but can't help and make things weirder or more dramatic (like that time he encouraged me thinking you were mad at me that one time. lol).

The scary thing that drew me closer to like you besides Tanh's encouragement was the fact we seemed to have so many things in common. Your personality was the number one thing on the list that drew my attention the most...I felt like I could talk to you forever, but I guess if that happens, there would be nothing else to talk about anymore, huh? :D But the thing is, I've never felt so myself before. I've acted in such a way around you that I've never really showed to any other person because I'm somewhat embarrassed to show it.

In one of my previous Facebook notes, I wrote "In my dreams, there is a guy...one I wish would exist in my life..." and you seem to answer to these wishes five days following this post.

* You went up to me yourself orally instead of online that you like me and asked me out and be your girlfriend.

* You want to be that "perfect" boyfriend to me as much I want to be one for you.

* You're someone who I can and would sing random songs or car karaoke with without worrying about embarrassing myself (though, I do sometimes, but not embarrassed enough that I wouldn't do it at all.)

* We both want to learn to ball-room dance with each other.

* You're easy to talk to and if something bugged one of us or such, we'd help each other out.

* You seem to notice easily when somethings wrong through my voice and tone (and you're really at it too... O_O)

Well...you basically get it :]

You are my Tarzan and I am your Jane or so-called "Oh, I see." Haha.

You are my Shang and I am your Mulan to help you save the Emperor Tanh LOL

You are my Flick and I am your Atta saving you with my wings :]

You are my Peter Pan and I am your Wendy to kiss you on the lips.

You are my Aladdin and I am your Jasmine to sing "A Whole New World" with you on a magic carpet.

You are my Marvin the clownfish and I am your Dory being clueless as ever.

You are my Demitri and I am your Anya or Anastasia to dance with you like At the Beginning. (I need to get myself that movie on VCR).

You are my Charliee and I am your Michi and together we'll be dominating the world in happiness no matter the obstacles.

I found it hilarious how that one time we watched I believe it was Bug's Life (I could be wrong) on VCR (We love watching VCR movies =] ), on Tet, and I was waiting Alex's room with my cousins while you were loading your VCR player.

My cousins kept asking, "Aren't you gonna watch the movie?" -impatient-

Me: "I'm waiting."

Cousins: "For what??!?!"

You: "Okay, I'm ready."

Me: "Okay, click play in 3..2..1....omgosh your ahead of me by a second...."

Cousin: "OHHHH. I thought he was coming over here to watch with you."

ahahhah That was funny. Too bad Alex was the loudest one in the room while we were watching, next to the cousins later on playing Taboo with Alex in the room instead of my room... Cough. Tony and Johnny and Alex.

Watching movies in-sync is so much while on the phone with you haha.

I feel kind of bad that you told a lot of your friends about me already and I am your girlfriend and how some of em have already befriended me decently enough that the next time I talk with them, I don't feel all awkward. I should introduce my friends more to you, if they are more willing to like your friends. By the way, your friend Kent still didn't talk to me much yet, Haha.

I really have to (you too mister) have to appreciate Tanh a lot for encouraging the whole liking each other thing. Even though, I really wanted and supported Tanh's encouragement (in my mind), I thought myself... I'll stick with crushes until a guy seemingly decent asked me or something. I never thought you'd actually ask me out. That was the amazing part that absolutely brought all my hopes back up again. :]

Now, lately being so happy, I've been really modest and going like "I'm soo sorry!" lately, whether it's to you or my peers. It's not exactly a bad thing, but I guess it's because I don't want to do anything stupid and mess things up.

Hope you like your scrapbook/collage page I made you and the Rottweiler puppy stuffed animal (his name is Tommy :D). I have another Rottweiler puppy too, but a little bigger sized (his name is Ethan :D). Remember to give Tanh his presents I gave him too that came with you presents.

I love you very much.

Em yeu anh nhieu qua.

Te amo mucho.

Wo ai ni.

Hope you a lovely Valentines, cutie! I'll talk to you later.

Love, Michelle "Michi" Quynh Dao Que Doan

P.S. I hope you enjoyed those voice mail presents I left for you. I feel kinda embarrassed about them, but I'll get over it later.