I better go to sleep now :D Night!MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!~!~!~
This is just a random video that I strongly recommend you guys to see =]
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"This post will just be out of no where in my mind so I don't know how to re-describe this to you yet...sooooo...I'll just type along and save/post =D."
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Every once in awhile at school or at home, I wonder, "What is my path in life? What is my potential? What kind of job am I supposed to be taking classes for?..." When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to work hard to be a doctor when I grow up and when I was asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?." I simplied answered, "I want to be a doctor" without even thinking about whether I really wanted to be a doctor.
By my middle school year, preferably in 8th grade, I considered that I did not want to be a doctor. Why do I want to be a doctor if that isn't truly what I wanted to be? I loved to write, but during my elementary and middle school years, I was never a successful writer, althought I kept imagining things I would probably write, but would never finish. I tried writing a book, but could never think of a full story plot first. I loved drawing and was great at sketching and cartooning, but I was limited and I yearned to learn more. I discovered my comics-making skill in 7th grade when my life science teacher, Mr. Brunner showed off my incredible comic (we were supposed to make a comic strip of the beginning of a star) to all his 7th grade life science classes. After lots of incredble, creatively designed notebooks and comic "strips," Mr. Brunner knew I had potential and said, "We could go in the business and sell your comics." I always thought he was kidding, but he knew I had potentiional in my art skills with comics. But...what was I going to be when I grow up?
In the very later 8th grade, I discovered a love and talent for making slideshows and videos, posting them on Youtube. They were simply MapleStory (RPG game) videos, but I had tons of ideas and imagination to put more together. I plan to learn how to use the video-camera and I'm inspired to make movies just like Phillip Wang's "Yellow Fever" and "A Moment with You," and "A Vision of Students Today" above. I told myself a goal that before I was a freshman college student (or was it I graduated high school?), I would direct and make a successful full-length movie and post it on my Youtube profile, and spread it around. Whenever I watch MapleStory videos, I think...I can do better...How is this so popular? I can do so much better because I know I can. Real video-camera...ing? Haha, we'll I'm still in the process of learning a little bit more about it (techniques and all that stuff), but I plan to master it probably by sophomore year. I'll take a class (I don't know what it's called, but a class that teachers stuff about video-making, video camera use? I'm not sure.)
My dad tells me that stuff like music (marching band, piano), drawing, writing, and video-making are only my hobbies and are not as important as my economics. He suggested that since I didn't want to be a doctor, I should be an architect. He tells me they design the houses and make lots of money, like my uncle. But...I like drawing and such, cartooning, sketching, etc etc., but I don't want to draw houses, especially for other people. I don't know. Maybe I'll help me if I learn how to draw houses. But it's not like I'm just drawing the house as a masterpieces. I'm drawing a blueprint, of every wall, flooring, exterior, roofs. It's like a blueprint of a human body, part by part. Or maybe as I should see it...a blueprint of how my life is gonna be constructed and build. Maybe I could take a part-time job as a music-instructor. Or...I could become a famous director; though, it does seem a bit extreme the way you think about (Hollywood, Oscar's, Broadway, etc.).
Should I really take this class? Is it really worth taking the class? How much time will I have to actually be able to deal with the work given?
My dad told me the strangest thing yesterday:
We were driving to Westminster High School for a marching band night rehearsal, when he was telling me for the millionth time in a row about his stress with the band commitment. But this time he was telling me how the Bahamas trip next year will put him even more in debt and how the emails and all this stuff ask him to volunteer, etc. He asks to me, "If I volunteer, how will I work for the money for your band fee? They expect that everyone is a rich family and has one or two free parents who don't work. That's why those moms are the chaperones. You have two working parents. I'm not even supposed to be leaving your brother home alone; it's illegal, but he has to do his homework..." And it goes on and on. But that's not the point.
[Rephrased]
"In your freshman and sophomore year, you have to take as many honors classes as you can. In your junior and senior, take as many AP classes. [We as asians] have to work two times as much as a white person. If you apply for a job and the choice was between you and a white person, the white person would be picked over you. If you weren't smarter than the white person, the white person was picked. If both of you were even, the white person would still be picked. That's why you have to be smarter than the white person. Then you will have a good life." My dad continued on. I never really thought about my dad saying that, but I thought racism wasn't allowed in occupations or something. I don't know.
Even so...it hurts me brain whenever I try to think, "What am I going to be when I grow up." It's already 25% into my freshman year and marching season seems to pass by so fast and its almost over. Less than four more years for college, but what will I major in? My dad says you have to choose by sophomore year what you want to be. I think I'll take an eternity. But I'll find it when it comes to me. In the meantime, I'll stick with my major interests and goals: music, art, writing, and videos.
This is a song I wrote for English Honors 1. I hope you like it =] It isn't much, but I think a pretty good job, because I suck at making up song lyrics.
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You and me
We were skipping down that brick road.
But then I woke up—it was a dream.
Oh my gosh, how my mind just likes to trick me.
Makes me go nuts, Make me go scream.
I don’t care what you think or say about this…
I’m in denial, in love.
And you can’t bring me down from the skies up in heaven
In denial, I’m in love.
I’m in love.
You and me
Walking down that sandy shoreline,
Holding hands and smiling too.
Come a little closer, I wanna touch your lips.
Then I wake up, understand nothing’s new.
I don’t care how much you fool or trick me…
I’m in denial, in love.
And you can’t pretend that nothing’s ever happened.
I’m in denial, in love.
I’m in love.
I’m in love.
I’m in love.
I'm in love.
"I believe I wrote this short story in 8th grade when my ELA/Reading teacher assigned us to write a short story about lying. Reading it now, I'm amazed by how great this story is. I like it a lot and I hope you guys do too! Please tell me if you see any mistakes. I was typing through this pretty fast (I spellchecked, but you know, the computer isn't always 100% correct on editing)."
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Lying. All of us could remember a time when we told a lie or when we really wanted to, but didn't. Everyone has told a lie at least once in their lifetime, whether it was a big lie or a little one. I, for one, remember a time when I told the biggest lie of my life that I should never lie about again.
It was two years ago when I was in 6th grade, entering middle school for the first time. To some people, it would be jubilant and fun like an adventure. But to me, it was a horror movie. During the summer, my family and I had just moved to California from New York. I didn't know anyone in school or in the area nor did I have the guts to go look for someone to help me around the area. my mom kept telling me "it'll be alright." But I didn't believe her.
The next morning, my mom drove me to school in her green Honda Element. We drove along the long narrow, bumpy street. Apparently, the area had load full of hills and slopes and as we exited the neighborhood, I spotted what was probably the biggest hill in the city that I've seen. The hill was fenced in, but the main thing that caught my eye was the enormous mansion at the top. It was like The White House, but it wasn't. There was a sign outside saying,"For Sale" and then"SOLD" at the bottom. Why couldn't we get a house like that?
My mom finally reached my new school and dropped me off at the front of Mayfield Middle School. "Have a nice day, sweetie!" my mom shouted out to me, then drove off. Standing at the front walkway of the school, countless questions were just bouncing around in my head. "What if no one notices me" What if they tease me? What if I didn't fit in? What if--" That was all that ran through my mind. My legs and body then felt like they wanted to melt into the sidewalk, but I just continued walking through the doors into the halls.
The school bell rang, the tardy bell I presume, and it was time to find my classroom. "Room A-17... A-17..." I searched about the empty halls with my new class schedule in my hands, looking for my homeroom. Not even thinking about what was in front of me, I then bumped into a buff, tall figure. "Oof!" and we both collapsed on the linoleum floor, papers flying everywhere.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you!" I exclaimed.
"Calm down! It's no problem," the man chuckled. His big wide smile showed all his great pearly whites. And right away, I knew things were alright. we both then started to gather all the papers scattered all over the ground. "Are you new here? I could help you around here if you want."
My mind was whirling like a tornado again. You're just fine. You can do this yourself. Don't act like you're a clueless new kid. Don't even look like a new kid. All I was afraid of was being labeled as "The New Kid." If they didn't accept me, what would I do? I had to be smart, but not too smart like a nerd; just smart enough to know my way around. i had to be cool and popular. No one knew who the real me was yet.
"Oh, no, I'm just fine. i know where my homeroom is. My mom and I just got stuck in the morning traffic jam. So, that's why I'm late. Many apologies." I exaggerated. The man eyed me suspiciously as we both got back up.
"Alright, then. By the way, my name is Mr. Elliot. I'll see you later then. I have to go drop off this stack of papers to the office. By the way, Room A-17 is just two rooms before you reach the end of this hall over there." Mr. Elliot sneaked a peek on my schedule and pointed out the classroom for me. I felt petrified for a split second, but then just walked on ahead on to my new class.
"Why...thank you." I felt like a complete idiot: he saw right through me. Will my exaggeration work for the other people here?
I turned the knob on the door labeled Room A-17: Ms. Ashmore, opened the door, and entered the classroom.
"Well, you must be the new student! My name is Ms. Ashmore!" I looked up and saw a cheerful lady, around her thirties or so, in a dress coming up to me surprised. And looking around I would tell it was a class of about thirty-two or so students. I then felt a shiver racing up my spine. I freaked out. With a big school like this, there must be more than a thousand kids here! I really hoped the name "The New Kid" didn't catch onto one another, or, even worse, all the students at school. "Takkaria was it?"
"Huh?" I snapped back into reality.
"Takkaria? Is that your name?" Ms. Ashmore asked me. A quiet murmur flowed throughout the classroom. Whispers like "what a strange name" and "is she foreign?" were heard. I looked at the students for a moment and gulped. Remember: cool and popular, Takka.
"Yes. That is my name. But I also prefer to be called Takka. Either way, I don't care." I said proudly. And then I remembered the big mansion up on the big hill that was sold. "Sorry for being late. Even with my dad's brand new Hummer, it just took awhile to get here from my new mansion up on that hill far over by McCallister Avenue, especially with all the usual morning traffic jam. My family and I just moved here in Palmdale from the big city New York, New York!"
Technically, my family didn't have a Hummer at all and, obviously, I just wished that I lived in that "White House" mansion. My family and I just moved here from one of the smallest towns in New York--Cheery Creek. But the whole class fell for it and an explosion of exclamation boomed throughout the classroom.
"No way! She's the one who lives in that mansion now?"
"How cool is that?"
"Dude, she must be rich. Her family must have won the lottery!"
I saw fireworks in my eyes now and my mind was sure in a state of wanting to party around like a monkey. Yes! This is going out great! Surely, I'm going to be popular.
"So, Takkaria, willy you please choose your seat in class?" Ms. Ashmore asked. Right away, as I looked into the crowd of desks and students, I could recognize which group was which--the popular group was there, and the nerdy group here, and so on. One group of popular girls around the front had one open seat and were just wanted to drag me in with them. Me, part of the Popular's on the first day. Pinch me, I must be dreaming. I then took my seat in the middle of all the popular people. I truly felt like heaven. They were all smiling at me and drooling all over me like I was a sitting million dollar bill. Everyone else was also staring at me all period; Ms. Ashmore had a hard time getting them to pay attention to the lesson, but it wasn't their fault. I was popular and "rich." How could they help themselves?
Throughout the whole day, I was leading the popular people in the halls with all my fellow followers behind. I felt like a queen. One blond popular girl though, just eyed me with suspicion as she tagged along. And passing by, Mr. Elliot just seemed to turn his watermelon smile to a frown. Oh well, forget about him. he's not going to be a bothersome.
It was around the end of the day and I still had my followers with me. The news was spread all throughout the school by then. I truly was popular and I couldn't have felt any happier. I was sitting at the front in the middle at the last period of the day, acting all innocent and boastful about how "great my life really was" and almost everyone was just begging to listen. My last class apparently was with Mr. Elliot; so he did tell us all to be quiet at times, which annoyed me. This is my first chance to be popular; I can't let him ruin it for me. But I wasn't the only one getting annoyed. The other blond popular girl, whose name happened to be Kathy, sat at the desk behind me to the right, hands clenched tight into a fist. She eyed me like a hawk with complete suspicion and scanned for any weak spots that showed my obvious lying. She stared at me for a couple more minutes, but I look away uncomfortably to avoid her eyes. Suddenly, she then spoke out interrupting the silence.
"Takkaria, it's only your first day here at Mayfield and you're already popular. Here, that is extremely rare for any of us to get so popular so fast. How about if we celebrate your popularity? Kathy suggested. As I looked back at her in here eyes, I sensed some evil plot behind this.
"That sounds like a great idea!" Carrie, another popular girl exclaimed. And everyone else agreed with her.
"Um, yeah, sure...that sounds...great," I responded, sounding half-assured. Kathy stood up from her seat and placed her hand under her chin.
"Hmm, well, we don't usually have a great part house anywhere here in Palmdale city...Ahhh!" Kathy exclaimed as though a light bulb had just went DING! and switched on. "Ho about we have the party at your place, Takkaria? A mansion party would be great for this celebration!" She evilly smiled at me and waited for my response. I felt that knife stab into my back and my mind screamed. AHHHHH! What am I going to do? What would happen if they fond out? What do I do? What do I do?! What do I do?!?! "Well?" Kathy smirked. Everyone's eyes were on me now, waiting for my answer. Mr Elliot stopped with his writing on the board and also eyed me. He knew what was going to happen next and o did Kathy.
"uh..." I stammered, trying to get a word out of my throat. It felt like I was being choked by Kathy's invisible hands. "Uh..." My heart was beating faster and faster and I couldn't take it anymore. It was silent for a long time in the classroom and everyone began to grow suspicious. "Alright! I can't take it anymore! I'm not popular! I'm not rich! I don't live in that mansion! I lied! I liked about everything, EVERYTHING!"
Everyone around me gasped and was in dropped jaws and wide eyes, gaping at me. Kathy was smiling, cross-armed, satisfied. She might as well have said, "Ready, aim, FIRE!"
It was my first day at middle school and I went from The New Kid to Queen Popular to Loserville. But after that day, I realized: I didn't need to lie to fit in. I started being little bit lonely at first after all the popular people and zombie followers ditched me and when almost the whole school started to shun me. but I eventually made new friends, and, this time, they were real friends. I didn't need fans or posses. I also began to befriend Mr. Elliot and we began to gain trust between each other. I understand now that real friends will accept the real me any day, rather than fans who want popularity, as long as I don't lie about myself.
Lying. All of us could remember a time when we told a lie or when we really wanted to, but didn't. Everyone has told a lie at least once in their lifetime, whether it was a big lie or a little one. But no mater whether a lie is a big one or a little one, any kind of lie will lead to conflict and trouble eventually that you will regret no matter how much you try to avoid the truth.
Haha, well I ran out of things to write about so I'll write later. Later!
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Tick.
The classroom was quiet and there was only the sound of the ticking of the clock and the shuffling among the students sitting in their seats.
Tick.
I swung my pencil silently up and down between my fingers, staring straight at the clock with no thought in my head at all. But I was sure I could feel even the slightest bead of sweat race down the back of my neck.
Tick.
I leaned back in my chair, not even removing my sight off the clock, dropping the pencil onto the desk. I tightened my fist and tried to keep steady. I took a deep breath and bit my lower lip.
Tick.
Each tick of the clock, each second, began to last longer and longer. The hands then began to warp with the clock before my very eyes. The clock began to melt.
Tick.
The room started to blur and grew bigger and bigger by the second until I was some ant, the walls beginning to spread with bloody red, ceiling to the floor, like a disease. The clock fell on the ground, tiles of the floor breaking part, revealing an endless hole of pitch black darkness. And there it was levitating out of the hole…a shadow…a corpse. The only thing of the shadow body that caught my eye: its wide-open bloodshot eyes, its jaw wide-open as if it were going to scream, and its hand, hanging off the body, dripping of blood.
Tick.
Even after the fall, I could hear the clock’s ticking.
Tick.
Faster and faster the ticks began to ring in my ears.
Tick.
And before I knew it, the head of the shadow turned its head, eyes staring straight into mine.
Tick.
All of a sudden I felt like my body was being squeezed. I was caught by its glance and I couldn’t look down, but I felt like a thousand arms and hands were pulling my whole body apart.
Tick.
Then the ticks slowly began to turn into voices ringing in my ears.
Tick…Kill…
Bloodshot eyes still hooking onto mine. I felt myself quivering now, my body almost all covered in darkness, but I knew it was still there, feeling a drip of blood racing down my arms…
tick…Kill…
The body screamed, bloodshot eyes now growing big and, immediately, I felt a pain of a thousand knives piercing through my body.
tick…KILL!
I screamed, my hands shooting up to cover my ears, and I was back in the classroom and everyone turned their attention to me.
Tick.
But it was too late…
Tick…
…there I was laying on the ground…
Tick...
…a thousand knives laid all around me in a puddle of blood…
Tick…
…me, a corpse…a shadow, with bloodshot eyes looking up to the ceiling and all I remember feeling last was a drip of blood racing down my arms…
Tick.
