Slip n' Jeans

Morning:

Mom: Wait...are you wearing my jeans?
Me: Yeah...I wore them yesterday to
Mom: I've been trying to find those all day yesterday! That's where they've been. There were new; I haven't even worn them yet!
Me: Mine are in the laundry!
Mom: Wear them only today, then give them back
Me: Okay

- - - - -

Going to Zero (REALLY wet rainy dark morning)

Me: -slipping on the wet concrete while in her ugg boots that have eroded down to flatness- I bet I'm going to fall sometime before lunch -walks into Ziebarth's room-
SLIP and FALL
Person: Are you okay!??!
Me: -gets up with difficulty because of the slippery floor- @_@ I'm OKAY! -walks to chair carefully without slipping again, embarassed-

- - - - -

Afterschool at home

Mom: She wore my jeans today! See! I haven't even worn them yet!
Dad: o.O
Me: I had no jeans -walking into the garage and by the time i get to the kitchen door, I change the subject- I fell today.
Mom: YOU FELL TODAY!??!? ON MY JEANS!?!?!
Me: ...o.o (in thought: crap...) uh...no o.o
Mom: Yeah, you did! I just heard you!
Me: uh...-takes off boots and walks in the house-
Alex: Stupid...
Mom: (from outside in the garage) CHANGE UR PANTS NOW
Me: I FELL IN THE CLASSROOM NOT OUTSIDE O.O
Mom: you ruined em =_=
Me: they look fine... o.O
Mom: change your pants
Me: okay okay okay...(-chnages and walks to kitchen to get a drink of water, with the door open to the garage, my mom can see me and shakes her head at me-; awkward...)

Detentions for FVHS Bikers Due to Lack of Parking

Lately, members of supervision staff have been hanging around the bike gates near Room 305, Mrs. Henderson’s room, for some unknown reason. I discovered today that a few of the bikes were labeled with green slips, which were detentions issued for “improperly parking” their bikes. As I gazed upon the few bike racks crowded and filled with bikes, I thought to myself, “Is this a joke? They can’t even fit their bikes into the racks anymore…There’s no more room.”

It isn’t fair for students to receive detentions due to the lack of bike parking because when there is a lack of parking, students have to improvise. I walked around the lot and observed every bike that had a green slip. They were all locked and standing upright to a fence, rack, or pipe. Although locking their bike to a pipe IS unsafe for the school, it lowers the risk of any students having their bikes stolen.

There just aren’t enough bike racks to properly park all of these valuable bikes.

Plus, another issue of this problem is the way supervision sent out the detentions. The green slips, which were taped to the bikes, stated a warning and asked the student bikers to go to office for a detention. One problem, supervision: any student could simply rip the paper off and go riding back home. Supervision labeled each bike that was “improperly parked” a detention, but they don’t know to whom it belongs to, or their student identification number. It seems like a poor way of punishing the students, unless the student was truly honest enough to go to the office after school to serve or complain about the detention.

At least supervision didn’t take their bikes away. Of course, that would be too much of a hassle. It’s not like we use our bikes in class. Seriously? Detentions for improperly parking bikes? If you want to stop the students from parking outside the bike racks or have the students get their bikes ruined or caught between other bikes, try to fund at least one or two more bike racks for the students. The Homecoming Dance is coming up and all that revenue raised from selling tickets could go to good use. It’s the least the administration can do.

FVHS BBN - Reflections 2009 PSA

- - - - -

October 1, 2009

Video 61:

FVHS BBN - Reflections 2009 PSA

So every year, we have an art contest called "Reflections" that is theme-oriented. This year's theme is "Beauty is..." We can enter as many entries in visual arts, photo, literature, film production, dance choreography, and music composition. I'm going to enter in all of the categories, except for dance. ANYWAYS, this is the PSA (public service announcement) I made for my school's BBN (Baron Broadcast News).

Anyhow.

Enjoy :D

Music:

"Beat on Classic" by Drawoh (From Newsgrounds Audio Portal)

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I Love Ya! Tomorrow!

Conversation with Charlie

Michelle Doan: hey! txt me bak if ur there :] HOPE U FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU GET UR WISDOM TOOTH PULLED OUT. I love youuuuuuuuu -heart-

Michelle Doan: btw the drawings for you, tanh, and hannah should have arrived yesterday or today by now so check up for that :] kk ttyl

Michelle Doan: (unless ur here)

Charlie Mai: i said it was tomorrow...

Michelle Doan: GOSH DARNIT

Michelle Doan: u said that yesterday

Michelle Doan: T.T

Michelle Doan: and the day before

Charlie Mai: o.o

Michelle Doan: i swore u did

Michelle Doan: u said...thursday

Michelle Doan: D;

Michelle Doan: no first wednesday then thursday....and now ur telling me friday

Charlie Mai: i said i found out its the next day.

Charlie Mai: it was never on wednesday...

Michelle Doan: tsh.....w/e i was being nice

Michelle Doan: D;

Michelle Doan: I TAKE IT BAK

Michelle Doan: >D

Michelle Doan: buahahhah

Charlie Mai: i love you lol

Michelle Doan: i love you -heart-

Charlie Mai: wow :]

- - - - -

Conversation with Tanh

Michelle Doan: charlie's getting his wisdom tooth pulled out today

Michelle Doan: nvrmind

Michelle Doan: he keeps telling me

Michelle Doan: tomorrow...

Tanh Truong: Tomorrow

Michelle Doan: and tomorrow

Tanh Truong: Ehh?

Michelle Doan: and tomorrow

Michelle Doan: he said tomororw on tuesa

Michelle Doan: tomorrow

Michelle Doan: yesterday

Tanh Truong: It's tomorrow isn't it?

Michelle Doan: now he's teling me tomorrow again

Michelle Doan: DX

Tanh Truong: LOL

Michelle Doan: like the WORD "tomorrow"

Michelle Doan: Charlie Mai: i said i found out its the next day.

Charlie Mai: it was never on wednesday...

Michelle Doan: tsh....w/e

Tanh Truong: lol

His Number - MDoan Comics Productions

- - - - -

Victoria is minding her own business, hanging with her friends at Boomers, when an old classmate from elementary school suprises her--John. John and Victoria, who is startled by his presense, has a conversations, discussing old times and catching up on life nowadays. They exchange phone number when they depart from one another, but both never talk to each other again as Victoria leaves it be as she escapes her past.

This is my first film short ever. So yes, expect some mistakes and a bit of bad editing in some parts. The day we were filming two of my friends, David and Gilbert, who didn't know we were filming when we were hanging out, were rushing me to finish the filming from two hours to one. So sorry. Plus, I planned to use my digital camera to serve as my "boom mic" to record the audio at the table while I recorded the the film with the camcorder. But it ran out of battery...and you couldn't hear their voices that well because of distance and due to the fact that the guys kept talking really loud. That's why some of the audio doesn't match that well or sounds funny when I rerecorded at school later on.

It's not my best video, but, hopefully the next video will be MUCH better :D Wish me luck!

Anyhow.

Enjoy :]

Story of my Love Life (unfinished)

"My failure Reflections 2009 entry for 'Beauty is...' as a poem. I was just testing it out (It's made up). I think I'm going back to expressive writing like blog writing for the literature section."

- - - - -

Emotions are wondrous things.

It is what makes up beauty. Seeing

past what lies on one’s skin and having

one’s heart full of passion: loving.

(Story of my love life)

It gives the people feeling of closeness

(Your rejection’s like a knife)

and lifts them off the ground with pure happiness.

(You’re the only one I like)

And the times of conflicts and absence

create sadness and a little bit of loneliness

(Story of my love life)

Story of my love life

Jealousy, when that cute girl passes by.

Starts to flirt with my dream love. That guy

has no clue how much that I try

to not get nervous when I come up, say “hi.”

There she goes, hazel eyes and her hair brown.

We just broke up: was another fight, another frown.

I don’t think I can look like a clown

anymore. She’s already bringing me down.

Walk away, I just saw him kissing,

not just a girl, but my best friend Missy

New template

just reramping the blog for the new year, so sorry for unfinished boxes on the right side...I'll do it tomorrow

Do You Remember 9/11?

- - - - -

A tribute to September 11, 2009 for my school's BBN (Baron Broadcast News) that released on the 11th. The interview were all mine. The newscast clips were borrowed.

I got my Youtube newscast sources from the following links:
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP5uIPyY DlQ
-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RpNSF-e r88

Music:
-"Watch the World" by Box Car Racer

Anyhow.
Enjoy :D

FVHS BBN Camp Proj 2 - Charlie's Angels Trailer

- - - - -

Sorry for not making an actual video in a long time. This video actually is a video I created with my group in my school's film class for camp. It's our second film project.

The object was to make a video with a character named Jack Magnum and with a chair in a tree, maximum of 2 minutes. Oh, there had to be a line that said "They'll crack under the pressure."

Our group was going to do a I am Legend and Castaway spoof combo at first until the next day, we all completely changed the idea =_= Gosh...so it became a Charlie's Angel movie trailer instead...I just went along. I did almost all the filming and the editing. I didn't feel as confident on this film project as my first one about Vandalism (which I will post on Wednesday, Sept 2). Um, I don't really like this video as much, because of the improvision and the other guy's ideas. So my editing was somewhat sloppy in this.

I don't know what music was used, since most of the music added were by other group members. I only know the first one was the original Charlie's Angel's theme song.

Even though, I did not like it as much, I thought it was still quite funny and everyone else in the class voted it as the best out of all the other camp projects, excluding veterans.

Anyhow.

Enjoy =]

FVHS BBN Camp Proj 2 - Vandalism is No Child's Play PSA

- - - - -

This was the PSA I was talking about in the Charlie's Angel's Trailer video. This was the first film group project I have ever worked on and the first time using Adobe Premiere CS3 and the professional cameras.

I didn't get a chance to use the camera on this one, but I did most of the editing.

This PSA was also premiered in the 1st episode of the BBN (Baron BroadCast News) at my school.

Music:

-I don't know...I didn't provide it.

-I think one of em is the WIggles

Anyhow.

Enjoy :]

You Can't Hear the Ghost Mimes Cry

Inside are excruciating electric shocks, coming on and off. Hundreds of knives flying through my chest and the palm of my hands.

But I don't cry.

I hold it in for hours, hoping the feeling will simply drift away watching a couple episodes of "Friends." But as much as the comic relief made me laugh, it wasn't enough to mask the pain.

I punch my knuckles into the palm of my hand and rub it, hoping my whole body would go numb as I restrain my internal hell.

There is an infinitely tall glass wall, indestructable and never-ending from left to right, that seperates me from the rest of the world.

I should be happy for them and hope they have fun with their peers on the other side of the glass. I shouldn't burden them for not.

It's a ghostly feeling.

I can't touch them. I become a transparent spirit, falling right through their bodies without effect.

Perhaps I'm blind because I can only see their dark silhoeuette as they speak to me in their sweet friendly voices.

Three in the morning and I can't sleep. I should close my eyes and pretend my bed is a bunch of soft marshmellows of Cloud Nine.

I cry.

But no one is around to see or hear me because you can't hear the ghost mimes cry.

I Hate Modified Days

So on certain Tuesdays, we have modified day, where school (or first period) starts at 9am instead of 8...but 0 period still has to come at usual time at 7am...

This always...happens to me...like today.

(end of 0 period bell rings)
M: Hey Sami, what's your first period?
S: Math.
M: Oh, cool
(both grabbing backs and heading out the door)
M: So where's your math class?
S: Over there. (points to the left)
M: Oh...my English class over there D; (points to the right)
S: Where are you headed?
M: Um...over there? (points same direction as before) O_o
S: The library?
M: Huh?
S: Are you going to the library?
M: No o.O
S: Then where are you going?
M: English...
S: You do know today is modified today right?


(Storms back inside Mr. Ziebarth's 0 period)
M: I HATE modified days...

- - - - -

I remember another time last year...I thought I was late to first period and went striaght to Mr. Fitzpatrick's and found out he had a teacher's meeting. I went back to the Baron Banner room again (when it belonged to Poff)...

Even as a junior in FVHS...I still can't remember when it's modifed day ...

Baron Banner 08-09 ScrapbookPg

I got bored, so I wanted to make a digital scrapbook page on the computer to practice my designing skills.

This is just a page about the 2008-2009 Baron Banner year.

Anyhow.
Enjoy =]

I was gonna join yearbook this year, but then I changed my mind to do AP Studio Art 2D

Click on image for a bigger view.

I Love You One

Another slow joke Charlie was laying on me ;-;

- - - - -

C: I love you one!

M: o.o ... I don't get it...

C: It's okay :D Don't think about it too much.

M: .................Is the one supposed to be an explanation point?

C: Michelle! I said don't worry about it!

M: But I don't get it! D;

C: Michelle! I L OVE YOUUUUU! (repeats that a couple times)

M: I love you too?

C: I love you three :D

M: ....................................OH I GET IT NOW!

C: Yeah, it was all planned. =P You were supposed to say I love you two.

Taking the Jump and Cut

I think back in 8th grade when I was in a terribly depressed and at the start of my teenage mood swings of crazy emotions... emo.

I hated my life. I hated myself. I wanted to die. I wanted my life to end.

I think now how ridiculous I was back then, thinking so negative and thinking everything was hopeless.

I didn't want to attract attention to my depression, so I didn't change my wardrobe to dark, emo clothes.

I didn't cut myself because it would be too noticeable, but after learning about cutting more, I think, wow, why didn't I think of cutting myself there. In 8th grade, it was cutting your wrists and arms. Now cutting has been more creative in places not-to-be-seen. But that doesn't matter. My first ex-boyfriend was emo too and almost influenced me to cut myself as well. One night I went to the kitchen and opened the knife drawer and held up a knife.

I chickened.

I wanted to die as unpainfully fast as possible though. I thought...pills? I don't know...Shot or stab myself...Too slow. I just wanted to disappear...somehow. Some nights, I remember walking out of the house and walking towards the main streets and watching cars pass by...And day dream, at school, of walking off and jumping. Would I die really fast? What if I still lived?

I didn't jump.

Thinking about it now, I can't believe how absorbed I was into the whole depression and emo thing, neglecting the love of my close friends there for me. I never went up to them about it and ignored that they were some hope in my life. I neglected the only friend who was basically like my psychiatrist that year, who was trying to give me advice and support me. How could I not see them. All I thought about was why that guy didn't like me back, getting scared of my first ex whenever we had fights, my life at home, and envy for not looking pretty enough or talented enough as a friend.

What if I didn't chicken out though. What if I took that knife and did cut myself...leading to cutting myself more and more.

What if I jumped...

Let's think about all the great things I have today now. A great boyfriend named Charlie. My first kiss... Wonderful close friends. A great experience in marching band and Baron Banner, and Baron Broadcast News to come. A dream to attend Boston University and succeed in the film world.

I have such a wonderful life now and I can't believe I almost put it to waste.

I hope I never come down to that point of depression every again. And if I do come to a point where my mind sets to "I hate my life," I'll think...what do I have? The least amount I'll have is...my great cousins and my close friends. Seldom will there be a moment where they will all hate me for once and abandon me. At least one person will always be there for me and I will believe in them.

Life is good.

Sticks and Tubes

The result to shopping for clothes is always the same results...well almost always. The clothes didn't fit...they look pretty, but ugly on me...the arm holes were meant for skinny stick arms and pants and waistlines for small tubed tummies. I wanted anything...anything at all that would make me feel at least a little bit pretty, to myself, or, preferably, skinny.

Visits to the doctor is always the same...repetitive. After awhile, one would become sick of going at all. You're short for your age as a girl. I know. You know your overweight. I know. You should go on a diet. I've tried. You should exercise more. I see. Okay, time for some shots. Whoopee. Oh, and let's not forget my doctor telling my parents how to feed us next to control what we eat.

My cousin Bianca recently lost a lot of weight going on a diet. And she is perfectly healthy and skinny. She is one of the envies of my mom and me. Even worse is going to school and seeing almost every teenage girl with skinny jeans and long shirts so tight, they show how skinny she is. Stick-like bodies looking perfect and beautiful in every outfit, air passing through between their legs.

I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom every time I go to shower. I stare at myself to examine what looks pretty about me and what I need to disguise or get rid of....improve of myself, to achieve that perfect self.

I need to control what I eat...I should stop eating...My parents wouldn't notice either way, especially my dad, who has already identified the fact that we all are "fat." I'm not hungry. His response: good. If I didn't have any physical activity at all, this plan would have gone out just fine. Hapkido Martial Arts. Halfway throughout this school year, I discovered if I skipped breakfast and lunch and attended class after school, result: black out in the middle of martial arts. Perhaps I should have drank more water. But it wasn't going to work. So I cut something else off. I'll skip breakfast and lunch on days I'm not going to martial arts and cut my dinner in half. I cut off the amount I ate rice.

My parents began to tell my relatives, proudly, that I was trying to go on a diet, and cut off eating rice. "Yeah, she's just like Bianca now."

Nothing changed. My weight stayed the same. No matter how much I ran in PE or on the treadmill...no matter how much I pushed myself in Hapkido...cutting my diet...The same big fat three digits came about when ever I stepped on the scale.

I stare at myself in the mirror in my room. At my body. My arms and thighs half muscle, half fat. And glare. I would start doing sit ups and ab twists, secretly while no one is looking my room, to burn off the fat on my tummy and hope the rest of the fat will go away in Hapkido. Hoping I could too look like the skinny girls and guys. Without having to disguise that my legs are at least a little bit skinny while standing, and feeling ashamed of my thighs showing off their fat, spreading across the seat while I sit. Without feeling fat wearing beautiful tops, with my arms squeezing through the short sleeves. Going down a size in jeans and not feeling depressed because my thighs are too gargantuan to fit all the way through.

I envy them all and hate it when they call themselves "fat" while standing in their skinny stick like shells.

I want all the voices to go away, telling me I'm fat. The doctor, my parents, my relatives...

Sigh...

I stand in front of a refrigerator for a moment. Perhaps I should eat something for lunch...I'm not hungry, walking away, feeling satisfied temporarily in my shorts and t-shirt, feeling around my waist and stomach that I feel a little bit skinny...at least until the next time I eat: dinner.

Perhaps I try to hard to fit in with the rest of the world. Peer pressure as one would call it. Someday I'm going to die of starvation and wonder if it was all worth it in the end. But it'll be too late by then.

I hear, you need to lose weight. I need to hear more. I need someone to tell me I look beautiful as I am. That I'm not fat. That I'm pretty. It's quite a selfish request.

All this confusion is running around in my mind about what I want.

I want to be skinny.

I want to shed it all off.

She Ate Tarzan

So my mom's side was over for a lil party. And my aunt was helping my little cousin read, or at least identify objects in the storybooks. They were looking through Tarzan.

Aunt: Look, Maddy! Is a gorilla. The gorilla is eating the baby!

Me: No! The gorilla is hugging Tarzan!

Aunt: Oh, really? O.O It looks like she's gonna eat him. See? She's like holding him by the diaper.

So I guess supposedly, Tarzan never survived in his baby years.

I Stooped Down Low

"Wow...I haven't made an actual blog post in a long time..."

- - - - -

I knew report cards had come out by seeing the first message of someone enjoying their grades on FaceBook. I was hoping I would get A's and B's as well on my report card and wanted to be the first one to see it for myself before my parents would. But upon going out the front door to check the mailbox, it was empty. The mailman did not arrive yet. I didn't want to freak out about it too much, so I put it at the back of my mind and forgot about it for the rest of the day.

Later that night, I heard my dad call on me. And simple "Yes?" asking what they wanted or needed was not satisfactory to my parent, so I went to the kitchen. My dad showed me my report card.

00 Web Design/Publ ... A

01 AP Eur His ... B

02 Geometry ... D

03 PE ... A

04 Eng Hon 2 ... B

05 Chemistry ... C

06 Spanish 2 ... B

Usually I would have gotten scared and nervous by now, but I was feeling calmly depressed as is. And my dad saved the time to talk to me about it later...That's good. But he said I had to drop all extra cirriculars and clubs. Huh.

I'm not going to rant about the D. I somewhat deserved it. (Though I really don't understand how I got a C in Chemistry when I feel like I've done better than last semester [B].) One section I decided to slack off and procastinate and do homework later and the test scores kill me. I tried raising it by the end of the semester, but I guess it didn't help... Gee... I really screwed up now.

Most of the rest of the night, I felt absolutely depressed and when 3-way talking to my boyfriend Charlie and my friend Hannah on the phone, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to act happy around them or not.

I was always scared of telling my dad whenever I got a bad grade on anything, ever since I was a little kid. I guess that's where lying started and continued, thinking I could handle it. Obviously, in this situation, it made it worse. And it was my own fault to not do the homework.

Hannah helped me straighten my thinking a bit though. She said I should talk to my dad seriously and look at him straight in the eyes, showing them I am a mature person and not their little kid anymore. I mean...I wasn't even looking at my dad when he showed me my report card...mainly because one of the things I fear most is my dad getting upset and/or angry with me.

The next day, I was thinking to myself how to talk to him and what to say. I mean, I seriously don't want to drop Baron Banner for sure and Baron Broadcast News (BBN). I'm basically the head designer and almost an editor-in-chief (I'm not even sure), plus I need that film experience for when I major in Film Production/Cinematography in college (preferably Boston University...I'm starting to wonder if they'll still accept me in senior year because of my specific grades ><).

What's my BIGGEST distraction? Well, I suppose I've already realized this answer...the computer. There's everything to do on the computer, especially if everyone of them are installed with an internet browser. And you can do and get distracted by anything at all. So I planned to ask my dad to restrain and limit my computer and internet usage and let me join at least Baron Banner and BBN (obviously theatre is too much, since it's after school hours. So I don't really mind; it was just something extra I might try). And those two clubs, Operation Smile (OpS) and American Cancer Society (ACS). The only one I really active in is OpS, since I'm vice president now. Phone? Not really, I can manage to do all my homework while still talking to Charlie, plus I can ask my friends and Charlie for help on homework.

So I went outside and had that serious talk, thanks to the help of Hannah to boost my confidence. I'm not going to give details, but I'm satisfied with the results. My dad talked to me about my revised class schedule, college stuff, goals and discipline on me and my brother. Apparently, he's taking it easy on me since I'm a girl (kinda sexist, but okay; "Alex has to be the man of the house" is what I remember my dad saying) and I'm going into a film major, not a major like medical science or such. But he's definately keeping a closer eye on me on my academics (random, but I think it's kinda funny he pronounced "academics" as "economy," but I don't say anything everytime he says it during his lecture).

I shouldn't forget like it never happened, because it's affecting my GPA for sure going down to a 3.26 this semester. My dad wants me not to challenge myself too much like my cousin Tony who took all honors and AP's, but take at least the minimal basics, like my cousin Bianca, who has straight A's with regular classes. So I'm going to drop Spanish 3 next year, because he wants me to get an A for sure, not a B, to raise my GPA. So I need to find an elective now that I'll probably enjoy that'll get me an A.

I can't believe I've slowly stooped down this low for my grades, but I shouldn't be too depressed about it. But I'm staying strong.

New Blog Search Engine!

So I finally got a new search engine for the blog and got it to work and look properly on my blog layout ;D Woohoo! That's all I wanted to blog about. Haha ^_^

Photos: Family, Alex, Misc.

So I posted new photos on FaceBook. Unless you're a friend with me on FaceBook, I don't think you guys can see the full image, but here are some preview thumbnails. (Click on the thumbnails for the full image)

- - - - -

Family 2009
Hanging out at my Aunt Oanh's house, playing with my baby cousin, Elizabeth (Phuong Trinh).

Miscellaneous
Proof to my boyfriend Charlie that my pet tortoise/turtle named Rocky DOES exist.

The Ridiculous Life with Alex
This is a new album I created dedicated to my younger brother that I will show to him 10+ years from now to show him how much a ridiculous person he was. In the following thumbnails, he's playing with Elizabeth's boys and laying on the floor of the car while my mom is driving.

Advanced Technological Communication ftw

So my mom found a new way of telling Alex or me to do something for her without shouting at us from the other side of the house.

- - - - -

-cell phone rings-

Me: Hello?

Mom: Get out here now and help me with laundry.

Me: Er...O_o okay...

Mom: I love you!

-hang up-

May 2009 Artwork

I post any kind of artwork I do. I do traditional drawings, graphics design, editorial design (newspaper), photography, scrapbooking and crafting, desktop wallpaper, etc.

Here's a gallery of artwork I have created in May.

Here We Go Again

I have not posted a lot of blog posts this school year compared to freshman year. In general, I have not posted a lot of blog posts lately...period. Perhaps, I should get myself into the habit of doing so again.

I think I'll start by posting up blog posts everytime I have a new artwork to post on my deviantArt as well, along with my YouTube videos. (Maybe I'll start making a gallery as well for any set of photos I take for events and blog about it).

It's a start...or rather a restart o.O.

I guess lately, I look for more talking one-on-one about my thoughts lately, rather than typing/writing/blogging it down.

Fifty Dollars

Charlie Mai: Guess waht?!

Michelle Doan: CHICKEN BUTT o.o

Charlie Mai: I'm gunna waste 50 dollars

Michelle Doan: O_O why???

Charlie Mai: Lol ah! You got me. It was chicken butt.

Charlie Mai: Cause I wanna

Michelle Doan: at the theme park?

Charlie Mai: No its not on that.

Michelle Doan: im prob gonna send u a 4th month present

Charlie Mai: You'll love it. Lol =]

Michelle Doan: and send over stuff for tanh, thain, kent,  jesica, madelyn, and hannah too

Michelle Doan: o.o

Michelle Doan: the best one's for charlie tho :D

Michelle Doan: don't tell him

Charlie Mai: Lol its gunna cost more

Michelle Doan: it costed 5 to send that other present

Michelle Doan: besides

Michelle Doan: its for you guys =] itll be worth it

Charlie Mai: lol whatever

Michelle Doan: 50 DOLLARS?!?!??!?!!!?? O_O

Charlie Mai: Lol nice response lol took you a while

- - - - -

"My process of thinking seems to be slow..."

I Less Than Three You

Michelle Doan: lol

Charlie Mai: o.o

Charlie Mai: i

Charlie Mai: less then 3 you

Charlie Mai: lol

Michelle Doan: ??

Michelle Doan: o.O?

Charlie Mai: o.o

Charlie Mai: Spell it out!

Charlie Mai: ;o

Michelle Doan: less than 3?

Michelle Doan: -confused-

Charlie Mai: O.o

Charlie Mai: what's the symbol for less than o.o

Michelle Doan: what are we talking about...

Michelle Doan: < > [ignore arrow, stupid html] 3 o.O

[supposed to make heart symbol]

Michelle Doan: OHHHHHHHH

Michelle Doan: >< - slow-

Charlie Mai: o.o

Charlie Mai: HAHAHAHA

Charlie Mai: *hugs*

Charlie Mai: lol

Charlie Mai: ur soo cute

Charlie Mai: xD

- - - - -

"I'm slow as ever..."

Michelle+Hapkido=Balance?

Inside classroom for PE, watching a video about self-defense.

Video: Martial arts like Ju Jitsu and Hapkido help improve your balance.

Friends crack up.

Friend: That doesn't sound right.

**Michelle has taken band and is in Hapkido and still has no sense of balance...AT ALL.

Not Asian Enough

"Forgive me for my cruddy writing. I just bs-ed it because I'm doing homework."

- - - - -

Stereotype. It's peer pressure.

"Your parents don't look Asian."

I remember hearing one of my friends saying that when I was younger when I showed them a photo of my parents. What made them not look Asian?

Their eyes look big.

I look at some of my other Asian friends, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc, and some of the Asian celebrities online. Vietnamese people usually don't have as slanted eyes as other south-eastern Asians, but there are still those who do. And when I look at Asians with pretty narrow eyes, I envy them and wish I had eyes like those too.

I was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom tonight and I thought to myself how I didn't really look so pretty compared to other Asian girls. I have the side bangs...And I try putting on lip gloss. I look at my eyebrows and try making them more narrow and pretty. If only I had some eye liner and some foundation or something.

I look at myself in the mirror again. Ugly. My eyebrows are still ugly and bushy. And my forehead is humongous... even worse of it all...my eyes are too big...

I went back to my room and put lotion all over my face in place of foundation, hoping my skin would look more smooth and such. Then I grabbed the roll of scotch tape and took pieces of tape to pull back my eyes to make it more narrow, curved, and pretty. And I push down the tape on my face to make the tape as transparent as possible. I look at myself in the mirror again and I think.

I must be so desperate, but I wish I had prettier eyes like these...or better, without the tape.

I try to think of my good points that "make me Asian."

At least I try to speak my own language, and I can read/write in Vietnamese, though I still have a long way to go to be fluent in Vietnamese.

I feel like crying on the inside though, because I'm not a skinny Asian enough to fit an Ao dai during Tet. And I'm not so pretty like my other cousins with my pretty long flowing hair, etc.

I don't even have a Vietnamese accent...

Stereotype kills self-esteem.

I don't feel Asian enough.

How Long Will You Last? (Another Penhall Moment)

4th period English Honors 2 discusses the CAHSEE a week before testing.

Lily: What if we aren't done by fourth period?

Mr. Penhall: We're having a study period. And besides, you're not going to take 4 or 5 periods taking the CAHSEE...

- - - - -

1st Day (modified Tuesday) of the English CAHSEE

Mr. Penhall: -takes attendance- Where's Lily?

Tiffany: Still taking the CAHSEE.

Mr. Penhall: You're kidding me... -shocked smile-

Lily comes in a few minutes after class starts.

Lily: I couldn't take it anymore... I was soooo bored!

Snip and Cut

"I'm halfway done with my first TTAAP Film Short's storyboard and script =] It's based off Sami's 'Reflections on Culture' blog post."

- - - - -

I remember before I became more aware of our declining economy, especially before this schoolyear, everything seemed to be fine. Now anything from teacher protests to housing foreclosures are almost a naturally familiar topic of the days. Any thought of spending money was crucially thought out and as this economy gets worse every single day that passes by, the more scared people get of losing everything they once had in their everyday life.

I suppose I never thought about it, but my dad didn't truly start struggling and complaining about his money crisis until last year during fall marching band season. Almost every day I went to rehearsal, my dad would always lecture me on how much time band took up and how much money they used up. He used excuses like "they don't care about the students doing their homework or anything, they just want your money." It's not that my dad couldn't absolutely afford letting me join marching band, at least last year. I became angry that he pulled me out of band the next year because of his many complaints about it, but as I came to think about it...If I kept staying in band for the rest of my 3 years in high school...he'll surely go broke. Three thousand dollars per year is a lot of money to work for...

Awhile ago, my cousins' family on my mom's side moved to Arizona because the houses there were cheap and I remember visiting them winter break during freshman year. This year, both my cousins' families were forced to move back to California and find a new job and rent a new house or stay with another family. Times are getting tough and I feel like its all over the news now--people losing their jobs and homes. My dad recently has been talking about how long until he loses his job too and when we are forced to move when housing foreclosure hits us. So he tries to remind me as much as possible how lucky I am to have the possessions I have now, such as my own computer and room, a collection of loving stuffed animals, and even a dog.

A few years ago when I was younger, my dad used to get my little brother, Alex,  and I to find and help cut out the double coupons for Ralph's every Sunday to buy a surplus amount of groceries. Alex and I always dreaded bothering to cut and snip up every single coupon and matching them up with their double coupon and stapling them together. And let's not forget forget categorizing them in piles of what we need, what we want, and what we don't need period. As time passed by, Alex and I got lazier and the number of double coupons to cut out declined. Soon, there were even double coupons and they only came as one page. Today is March 17, 2009. Every Sunday, I never see the Ralph's coupons section anymore. Am I relieved? Somewhat. At the same time, I feel a bit of guilt now for not taking advantage of those last coupons. But when exactly was the last time I ever saw those coupons? Too long ago...

We need a miracle.

As graduation day senior year comes closer, although two years from now (but times flies by too fast), my dad gets more nervous about having to pay for a four-year college or a university, so recieving scholarships is extremely crucial. And with everyone almost in the same situation, theres going to be chaos in competition.

I don't know exactly how the rest of the country is doing right now...but in my world, if I were to describe the economy's role in our community in a one words, it'd be "chaotic."

I've never felt so much fear in the air in my life.

We're Going to "Penhall" This

I wanted to put this in Overheard in FVHS, but then I'd be violating the anonymous rule. And it wouldn't be funny without putting Mr. Penhall's name in there haha.

- - - - -

Lily: Mr. Penhall, my friend told me that when her class was reading a book, her teacher said they were going to "Penhall" it.

Penhall: Penhall it?

Lily: Yeah, like go through it fast.

(Later on)

Penhall: Okay, kids...Listen up and act like you care. We're going to practice for the CAHSEE. Whereas, some people will take hour studying for the CAHSEE, we'll take twenty minutes.

Lily: Alright...we're going to Penhall this... -determined face-

Guilty until Proven Guilty: Accused of Cheating

So two weeks ago, we had a lab and had to do a lab writeup in Chem. For one of the questions, I didn't know how to do a conversation from liters to mols and I asked another friend who was also in chem if she knew how. She told me 1 mol/22.4L. So I trusted her and used it for my calculations.

Two weeks later (today), after our chem test, my student teacher calls me up along with a couple of other students, one at a time, accusing us of cheating. She said 5 people had the same calculations all wrong using the same number. She asked me where I got 22.4 from when we haven't even learned about it yet.
I was like "From a friend."
"So you cheated off of her?"
"No, I just needed help and like---"
"I understand you guys get the same numbers on your data, but copying each other off for answers is not the right thing to do."

First of all, I didn't cheat...I did all the calculations and my whole write up, besides the data from the lab itself, by myself. And I got that simple number only from a friend. The rest on my own. So how the heck am I supposed to know I wasn't allowed to use 22.4L/1mol or w/e on my lab. The five other people who were also accused weren't even people I was closely associated with at all in my class either.

We tried bringing it up with the student teacher and Mr. Olsberg again and both got furious at us. "Do you want me to bring these papers up to the board? Do you guys want an honor code violation?" No... "Takes your papers. I''m tired of hearing your complaints and excuses. I don't ever want to see you cheating again."

The paper was a zero, but they said they weren't going to record it. At least, I think that's what they said.

So after, I went to my friend's Japanese class, the same one who told me 22.4L/1mol, right next to my 6th period Spanish2 class to rant. We were just talking about how ridiculous it was until my chem student teacher walked into the room, randomly. And I was just like "Crap, she's here O_O" and snuck back to my classroom before she caught my friends and I talking about the cheating issue.

Though, the zero didn't get recorded nor did I get an honor code violation, I was still pretty ticked off. They didn't even try to listen. But I kinda understand where they are coming from, having to deal with students all the time who actually do cheat or not. No one really knows the truth except for the person themself. Although it's very annoying...and I bet my student teacher's going to think I'm a kind of person who cheats now in Chem...how bothersome...She's going to be on my bad side for awhile. Mr. Olsberg too.

Sometimes I think adults treat us so harshly compared to their own peers. Where's our right for due process? Guilty! But--GUILTY! sheesh.
(I know, I'm too Phoenix Wright obsessed).

To My Handsome Sweet Valentine...

**Purposely made to be public

Dear Charliee "Cutie" Bi [Maikika],

(That's all I know of your full name so far, unless that's it lol).

You seem to come out of nowhere or maybe out of my dreams the moment after I began to wish there was someone out there for me. And your piece seemed to fix my jigsaw puzzle perfectly because I don't feel that hole I've had in me for awhile waiting and trying to find "the one" out there.

It's amazing, as I have never believed in love at first sight, we got off pretty fast when Tanh (Brian) introduced us together. Seeing what you looked like, every time I talked to Tanh after talking to you for the "first time" (technically, the first time was a few months ago, before Tanh got a phone and you were giving me a short message from him) like a friend with Tanh and Alice, I kept going on about how you were so cute and had an interesting personality. It somehow matched mine. It was crazy.

And, despite the fact, I became pessimistic for going anything past crushes, Tanh kept encouraging me on that you liked me. Me: "I bet you're just misunderstanding him. I doubt he does." And it seemed that you talked to him about the same exact thing. [You: Oh my gosh, what if she rejects me?!?!?!"] Tanh is like the all-mighty omniscient God. Haha :D He knows everything...but can't help and make things weirder or more dramatic (like that time he encouraged me thinking you were mad at me that one time. lol).

The scary thing that drew me closer to like you besides Tanh's encouragement was the fact we seemed to have so many things in common. Your personality was the number one thing on the list that drew my attention the most...I felt like I could talk to you forever, but I guess if that happens, there would be nothing else to talk about anymore, huh? :D But the thing is, I've never felt so myself before. I've acted in such a way around you that I've never really showed to any other person because I'm somewhat embarrassed to show it.

In one of my previous Facebook notes, I wrote "In my dreams, there is a guy...one I wish would exist in my life..." and you seem to answer to these wishes five days following this post.

* You went up to me yourself orally instead of online that you like me and asked me out and be your girlfriend.

* You want to be that "perfect" boyfriend to me as much I want to be one for you.

* You're someone who I can and would sing random songs or car karaoke with without worrying about embarrassing myself (though, I do sometimes, but not embarrassed enough that I wouldn't do it at all.)

* We both want to learn to ball-room dance with each other.

* You're easy to talk to and if something bugged one of us or such, we'd help each other out.

* You seem to notice easily when somethings wrong through my voice and tone (and you're really at it too... O_O)

Well...you basically get it :]

You are my Tarzan and I am your Jane or so-called "Oh, I see." Haha.

You are my Shang and I am your Mulan to help you save the Emperor Tanh LOL

You are my Flick and I am your Atta saving you with my wings :]

You are my Peter Pan and I am your Wendy to kiss you on the lips.

You are my Aladdin and I am your Jasmine to sing "A Whole New World" with you on a magic carpet.

You are my Marvin the clownfish and I am your Dory being clueless as ever.

You are my Demitri and I am your Anya or Anastasia to dance with you like At the Beginning. (I need to get myself that movie on VCR).

You are my Charliee and I am your Michi and together we'll be dominating the world in happiness no matter the obstacles.

I found it hilarious how that one time we watched I believe it was Bug's Life (I could be wrong) on VCR (We love watching VCR movies =] ), on Tet, and I was waiting Alex's room with my cousins while you were loading your VCR player.

My cousins kept asking, "Aren't you gonna watch the movie?" -impatient-

Me: "I'm waiting."

Cousins: "For what??!?!"

You: "Okay, I'm ready."

Me: "Okay, click play in 3..2..1....omgosh your ahead of me by a second...."

Cousin: "OHHHH. I thought he was coming over here to watch with you."

ahahhah That was funny. Too bad Alex was the loudest one in the room while we were watching, next to the cousins later on playing Taboo with Alex in the room instead of my room... Cough. Tony and Johnny and Alex.

Watching movies in-sync is so much while on the phone with you haha.

I feel kind of bad that you told a lot of your friends about me already and I am your girlfriend and how some of em have already befriended me decently enough that the next time I talk with them, I don't feel all awkward. I should introduce my friends more to you, if they are more willing to like your friends. By the way, your friend Kent still didn't talk to me much yet, Haha.

I really have to (you too mister) have to appreciate Tanh a lot for encouraging the whole liking each other thing. Even though, I really wanted and supported Tanh's encouragement (in my mind), I thought myself... I'll stick with crushes until a guy seemingly decent asked me or something. I never thought you'd actually ask me out. That was the amazing part that absolutely brought all my hopes back up again. :]

Now, lately being so happy, I've been really modest and going like "I'm soo sorry!" lately, whether it's to you or my peers. It's not exactly a bad thing, but I guess it's because I don't want to do anything stupid and mess things up.

Hope you like your scrapbook/collage page I made you and the Rottweiler puppy stuffed animal (his name is Tommy :D). I have another Rottweiler puppy too, but a little bigger sized (his name is Ethan :D). Remember to give Tanh his presents I gave him too that came with you presents.

I love you very much.

Em yeu anh nhieu qua.

Te amo mucho.

Wo ai ni.

Hope you a lovely Valentines, cutie! I'll talk to you later.

Love, Michelle "Michi" Quynh Dao Que Doan

P.S. I hope you enjoyed those voice mail presents I left for you. I feel kinda embarrassed about them, but I'll get over it later.

Feeding the Birds their Worms

So Victoria and the recruitment team were talking about what teachers they particularly want to have to recruit students in their class...

Zack (in response to Victoria's recruitment schedule email)

!!
Can I trade somebody for Winkle? I asked Victoria to reserve her class for me, but I think she thought I said "Wilton".
Anybody want to trade?
Zack (with Michelle)

Rachel

sorry zack, i liked (ok maybe not quite like, but didnt hate) winkle lol and i havent seen or talked to her since she left my class last year when she got sick so i kinda want to go do her class and see her.

oh and did u email all the teachers were visiting to make sure its ok and they dont have a test or anything victoria?

Victoria

Yup. I sent an e-mail out to all the English teachers that you guys are coming on Monday, February 2nd at the beginning of the period and that it'll be short/ sweet. All questions should be sent to baronbanner@fvhs.com.

And by the way, if you're hitting "Reply All" Dr. Poff is getting these e-mails from us, too, haha.

Zack

Surely you could donate one of your Winkle visits, seeing as how you already have three...

Right now you have eight visits for first period and we have five. Make it 7 & 6, maybe?

Hmmm?

Michelle

lol why does rachel get all penhall? wouldn't it be fair if we evened out the classes, so we wouldn't have all this conflict fighting over classes?

Victoria

You guys are too funny.

Rachel

because rachel used the rule of taptap. rachel "taptapped" all the penhall and winkle classes, therefore securing her visits to penhall and winkle. and michelle, you have penhall. zack, you have winkle. you already see them. why the need to see them again? next year (when you guys are still here and i am gone) remember the rule of taptap. lol.

Claudia

OHMYGOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :)

you guys know that all these emails go out to EVERYONE?!?!?!??!?!?! or atleast to everyone on the email list...
even dr. poff sees this!!!!!!
LIKE OMG... LOL...THIS IS crazzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyy :]

winkle, penhall, tap tappppppp WHO CARES?!?!? jk... does that even EXIST?! :P

haha... i say zack and rachel should just transfer this conversation into a blog, where we can all comment and read from there.
:)
LOL

Rachel

i know lol im sure everyone is getting entertainment out of this, even poff

and the rule of taptap is a legitimate rule everyone should know :)

and i love how you put some form of a happy face after every paragraph claudia lol :D

Zack

Fine.

Only because you're a senior.

But next year I'll be laughing maniacally when I've monopolized all the best teachers.

Michelle

lol ill make sure to partner with zack LOL

Dr. Poff

You guys are too funny. Keep it up! i want to see you all crawling over each other to get through the door...

Michelle

claudia, neslihaun, and victoria. you stole laframboise from zack and i!! ahhhhhhhhhh >O -revolts- lol

omgosh ragan's class scared zack and i so much D;

-opens door- WILL YOU JUST SHUDDUP?!?!

zack and me: O.O

ranting from teacher to student

BEEP BEPPP BEPPP we'll just uh O_O come bak later -walks away really fast-

zack: I REALLY wanted to stay and listen! i really did!

me: @_@..........

To be continued...or not?

The Teenage Asian American Project

I've been making this my goal since freshman year of high school and I haven't really gotten to attempting it yet...I probably should soon, I have about two years of high school left before the goal deadline is over.

I made a goal to myself to make at least one full-length movie before I graduate. Sounds somewhat challenging, but I think I can do it. And I think I found some inspiration thinking about what it should be able today, while vacuuming the house (I know...weird time to find some inspiration, huh?). I want to make a movie based on the life (lives?) of the teenager Asian-American (maybe more specific...like the first generation Vietnamese-American, such as myself).

I didn't want it based all about me though, I wanted stories to connect with each other...Then I thought, maybe I'll get some of my first generation-Vietnamese and other Asian-American friends and peers to help me create a script.

This is going to be a little project I will attempt at doing to help me start writing the script for my movie. I'm going to get those people to write me a story or essay, I don't care, about their lives as an Asian American. It doesn't matter how long it is and they don't have to put their names. I'm not expecting a melodramatic story. I expect someone to be honest for me to write an accurate script as possible. It could somewhat be like what Nuran did last year for the Baron Banner blogs--Truth. Something where they could write about anything personal and such anonymously. Hard to explain...maybe it's just me.

That will be my basis for now for the movie.

I'll call it...The Teenage Asian American Project (TTAAP).

In My Dreams...

In my dreams, there is a guy...one I wish would exist in my life...one who will...

• have the guts to come up to me face-to-face and ask me out...
• commit to the relationship as much as I would at least...
• sing car karaoke with me without any care in the world...
• dance with me at prom or a ball...or my wedding
  
• be gentle, friendly, and honest with me so that I will not be afraid to talk to...
• not be clueless and notice when somethings wrong...
• reassure me that he cares and loves me...and hopefully, at least once, that he will go above and beyond what is expected to achieve that goal...
  
• take interest in what my life is like as I will take interest into his...
• watch the stars with me at night while laying on the wide empty field of grass...
• have a good relationship with my parents and will have parents whom I will have a good relationship with too...
• appreciate having a dog...
• always be open for a hug, even at random times (I hug almost everyone)...
  
• make the first move...
• have more guts to talk to me about personal things face to face rather than on the phone, or especially on IM chat/texting...
• not be overly-sensitive if I tease him, unless reasonable...
• be my best friend and my boyfriend (and maybe even more later on in life) at the same time...
• try to make me happy
• be the one who I will be proud and happy to call mine...

He would be almost good to be true and obviously, not everyone is perfect...But I can dream...and I wish somewhere in my lifetime, I would meet such a guy. I wish.