Rain, Rain, Go Away

Rain, Rain, go away.

Come again another day…

Or what I’d rather have: not to come back at all.

I seemed to get over this type of situation faster than the others I’ve had…somewhat…

Last night, I had a theory, while talking to my friend Tanh. I think the reason why my head would go blank due to over-stress, was because my mind was covering it up, making me blank out on those feelings. When I tried to be really cheery and laughed a lot talking to my friend Steph, my head just started hurting a lot. But that night was a better night compared to the previous. I didn’t cry my eyes out and slept just fine, because my head was hurting every time I tried thinking or dreaming too hard…which I somehow thanked.

Today, I was still kinda so so in classes, but quiet overall and depressed a bit, but mainly quiet and just calm. And I wanted and had to face that I didn’t at all or wanted to like Kevin at all anymore, which was…alright. I’ve been single before and now as always. I’ll live and, though, I’m quite hopeless in that certain area, I’m still determined to go on with life to improve myself in other areas.

I didn’t stop being quiet depressed until after lunch (lunchtime which I was extremely quiet while watching the other guys). Gradually until Spanish 6th period, I felt myself again. And walking to the band room after school, I didn’t feel like wanted to drag, like I had no motivation to go to my next class on time (not that I was tardy). I just felt like…it went away…though my head still has a minor ache in the brain @_@, but I’ll be fine.

The sun came back to bring away the grey rainy storm in my mind =] And by the end of the day, David, who was worried about me being depressed, was relieved for my recovery.

I still think Kevin is avoiding me though. But I guess I’ll just go up to him and greet him normally, now that I feel myself again.

No crushes

No stress

No depression

No relationship

No hope for love

And honestly, I feel like part of me died, leaving a rotting hole. But right now, I just want to try to ignore that and try to be happy. I hope the sun keeps on shining and another hurricane or natural disaster doesn’t come along to ruin it all, but that’s life. And I have to deal with it and go on again. Unless I’m in my other pessimistic personality when I’m down, I am perfect fine being single right now, because I have my friends =] and I’m still alive and good.