My Paperbag Puppet Pals!

Testing out new digicam :D It's on high sensitivity, so sorry for the fuzzyness. This is what happens when I get bored for the first few days of winter break: make paperbag puppets of my friends and I.

Left to Right: KFC/Hawaii; Klink; Me!

I better go to sleep now :D Night!

My Christmas Day

This Christmas turned out better than I expected. It wasn't so boring =] I didin't get a lot of gifts, but they were enough to satisfy me for once! I loved all my clothing I got (they weren't all weird and ugly-looking or makes me look old o.o) Everything I pretty much liked, well, expect for the white fancy purse one of my cousins gave me ._.

I asked my aunt Co Hoang weeks before if she could buy me a shirt or two that I admired at Kohl's that same day. Before my aunt and cousins came over weeks before to play, my dad, mom, Alex, and I went to Bella Terra to Kohl's to look around and buy some stuff (shoes). Whenever we went to Kohl's I always had my eyes on the the tops that look like you're wearing a long sleeve under a polo or T-shirt from the boy's rack. To tell you the truth, most of the clothes they make for girl's now are too...preppy in a way and I guess that most designers think all girls are extremely skinny... It drives me crazy, and I'm kind of more like a casual, plain, tombboy look? punk eh...iunno But yeah. ANYHOW. I'm drifting away from the story O_o. Um, so my dad doesn't want me buying it because he says it's "strictly boys" and doesn't want me buying or wearing anymore boy clothes ._. He's been really picky and annoying about what I wear now and my hair ("You need to put your hair down and have like a style, like other girls, etc. etc. Trust me, if I went into detail, it will go forever."). SO! I asked my aunt Co Hoang to buy it for me :D I'm so smart!

So when I opened my present from Co Hoang, I was like, "Hey, Daddy, look!" He was like O_O! Haha. My cousins and mom said I was smart for doing something so clever. Haha. At least he's letting me wear it now ^.^b

Oh, what else did I get? OH!

I got a new digital camera :D My dad told me it was really expensive. 3k dollars? Is that possible, who knows. I suck at determining prices for anything because I'm clueless =]

It's a Casio and it can take pictures, record movies (compatible for Capture Mode on Youtube), and can record audio! So awesome and useful!

I got two pretty nice jackets from my mom and a nice shirt from my aunt Co Thu. Chi Hang gave me bath stuff. Tony gave me a Barnes and Nobles Gift Card. And my grandpa Ong Ngoai gave me twenty dollars =]

That reminds me about gift cards and Tony. Apparently, Tony gave my other cousin Johnny a 10 dollar gift card for GameStop. Guess what Johnny gave Tony? A 10 dollar gift card for GameStop! Haha. That cracked me up so much! They're gonna give each other gifts on New Years to make it up. Hope they don't give another twin gift!

Gifts for New Years also reminds me that Klink is coming over to my house to give me a gift on New Years. Huh. I better think of a gift to give him as well. I have some creativity up my sleeves, for sure =]

Well, I must say this before the 20 minutes to the next day and Christmas is over.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!~!~!~

Battle of Heart and Brain

Okay...I've gone completely lovesick for Klink, despite my worries and thoughts of regret from my brain. It feels like another deja vu because this is probably just as similar when I had a crush on my other best friend David (V) or Willy. And with my previous love experiences with all the other people, I still have a bit of an anxiety.

But right now, my feeling of being lovesick once again is starting to take over my thoughts of regrets and anxiety that something will go wrong or it wont work out.

I already feel like I'm daydreaming about it whenever I think of him. -sigh-

Michelle's Brain: NO! You shouldn't be liking anyone remember? You don't want to. Think about all the other stuff. IT'S DEJA VU!

(Amazing, huh? I'm talking to myself.)

Michelle's Heart: But maybe he's different.

Brain: You always say that and then what happens? They all turn into jerks...somewhat, or they aren't just the right person for you.

(Yeah, please don't tease me because of this... I'm a human-being. Everyone talks to themselves...supposedly.)

So, yeah. Battle of the Heart and Brain.

[I keep typing "Brian," instead of "Brain" =_=]

Stress-a-thon

"Try saying that ten times fast...Anyways, this is only a explanation of my well...'stress-a-thon' the past week and days."

- - - - -

You could say I am an easily stressed out...mmm, emotional...person...ish...Actually, let me just start explaining and you'll get what I'm trying to get out.

Lately, Ive been getting so much stress it drive me crazy. One on another on another. Even after I'm over one and calming down, another comes up. And there are always things that sometimes comes back to haunt me again or pops up to make me more frustrated. During this stress phase once again (yes, once again), I've gotten more angry and depressed, it wasn't funny (not that it ever was...).

I had problems with Dani whom I thought for once, things were going to go smoothly and we were going to get back together, but because of his sensitivity and my high stress-o-meter, we just had to get in another fight...for the millionth time AND WE WEREN'T EVEN BFGF! Amazing, huh? I mean even though, we always fight, we get back together after the million break ups, but I guess I couldn't take it anymore and just wanted to go on, like I am right now. But -shrugs- yeah, I'm going on with my life.

Anyways, as that stress went away, I had extreme fun at Disneyland...Then another stress came up. On the bus, Maddie asked Klink, "Hey, Kevin. Are you and Michelle going out?" Klink>"Iunno, Michelle, are we going out?" WHAT!??!!? My own best friend wondering if we were going out. THAT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH! And I just stressed about it like crazy. I decided to sit next to Benji in front to release my stress of not looking at Klink and with all the noise on the bus, I just looked down at my lap, covering my ears. Benji asks if I'm alright, and I just deny to him, while I end up...yes...I end up tearing up about it secretly to myself...I'm such a crybaby and I always make a big deal about this. Even worse, I talked it over with Klink yesterday after the middle school tour, since he couldn't go, and just ended up brushing it off. How...pointless... (I mean my making a big deal...)

Next...I don't really remember most of the details, but I guess that's what emotional stress does to you, make you forget more often (I think that's what my health teacher taught us). All I remember is me being more stressed, making me having an attitude towards my dad when I got angry a bit at my brother...as usual (he's always being extra annoying lately ever since middle school started), so I ended up getting a beating, which made me more stressed out and angry...which lead to more crying...crying myself to sleep. My head just hurt so much. I kept stressing about everything negative.

I kept thinking myself a burden to everyone.

That reminds me. This is the last thing Dani has ever said to me after that last stress fight; he's never said it before, but I suppose I've always been thinking this lately, now and before in my negativity:

"I do hate you. And you know what? You ruin society. You ruin people's lives. You should smash your head against a wall and die."

That's the harshest thing someone has ever said to me, but I guess I'm trying to brush that off my shoulder, too.

Afterwards, at school, I just wasn't as happy, or more like I just couldn't be happy. Klink, Hawaii (other Kevin), Benji, and my other friends noticed that and tried to cheer me up.

During lunch, I decided to talk to Klink, Hawaii, Benji, and David (C) privately away from the other people in the band room where we couldn't be heard and talk it over. The thought was so fuzzy, I had a hard time remembering what happened which made me kind of frustrated, but I didn't cry. Thank gosh, I didn't cry.

The big deal I keep thinking no matter what was that I was a burden, but they kept telling I wasn't and if I was, they would say.

The time between it was fuzzy again.

I believe this is...the day before the last day of school of the year. (I mean the next event I'm going to talk about)

I felt depressed again, but the next before I just felt so angry at myself at everything I do. I have a C+ in Biology, which made me frustrated. The last time I saw my grade it was a B- and I just wanted to try to get an A...and I got a C+ which made me mad...My dad is the kind of dad who wants their child to get straight A's or mostly A's. The only class he allows a B in is my Eng Honors class. I took my blame on my C+ on my teacher Ms. Foley and started getting angry at her being annoying. It's probably irrational at the same time -shrugs-... I've also been angry at myself for my depressed. I remembered myself thinking, I need to be depressed about something. How...pathetic... I think all I want is attention and for that I get angry at myself for. Being depressed makes me angry. Even the more I talk to my friends about my situation, the more angry I get now, because I'm getting them included into my problems and just putting a downfall on them...I suppose. But they kept telling me, "You're not a burden!" Etc. etc. -shrugs-

I also tell myself "I hate myself; I hate my life; I want to kill myself." To release stress, but I never really mean it. To tell you the truth, I'm terrified of death. I also tell myself this that...I may be really stressed out, really angry, and depressed, but I am not emo, I am not a cutter, I am not going suicidal, I am not bipolar, despite my quick emotional change, but I suppose I have extreme mood swings is all. But I am not emo.

Friday was better, I wanted all the depressed to go again and the unwanted thoughts of wanting to be depressed for attention, especially for attention or being depressed at all or getting anything that can make me depressed...well, you get it. Friday was like a day of relaxation, though, I was still worrying over my C+. I really want to raise it to at least a high B+, but especially an A-. I'll just try harder. But...easier said then done. Who knows.

Hmm...I already explained my break so far, but I do have a confession to make before I go nuts again. After having so many bad love experiences, I've developed a...you could say phobia against liking someone, crushing, having a bf...well, being involved in any kind of in-love or love situation.

This is my bulletin from Myspace:
"Title: I have a confession to make I can't avoid

Body: cuz if i do. i prob will drive myself more nuts than i am not...that that I'm going crazy...I'm just in deep thought....supposedly....


k...enough explanation...
i conclude i like someone despite the fact i told myself i wouldn't get involved in love anymore for now...because of some..previous experiences...


but yes...


but its a one way love right now since i haven't said anything


so I'm basically in-love only


i have learned that there is a different between being in-love and loving someone.i am basically...in-love -nods and shakes head-"

I have to say...I believe I have a crush on Klink. I've gotten so attached to him and I really do mean it if you knew me. I drag him around; I hug him like crazy; when he's not around for lunch, I have a anxious need to see Klink again after school; I usually make sure at least Klink is the person there to listen to my problems first, he's my partner for beans :D etc. etc. But yes...

Err...I'm kind of tired lol 1:24am I don't know what else to say, so I shall end this entry. Write back soon! [And behold! Another extremely long entry!]

Two Days until Christmas

Two days until Christmas and I'm already anxious. Isn't anybody who celebrates Christmas?

Anyways, let me explain my break so far starting Friday.

Friday was a great day. I wasn't so stressed out...or should I say at all. The last two weeks have been so frustrating and stressful with different problems stacking one on another, most of them personal, but even so. My friends and the happiness on Friday made all the better. I got two stuffed animals as presents--one from my best friend Kristine and one from Secret Santa in 0 period, which I'm still curious, who gave to me. Kristine was one of my best friends in middle school. Sadly, she could not come to FVHS, but had to go to another school. Then she had some principal problems and is now home-schooled in a way. But she's coming next year :D She sent her gift through my other best friend Emily. Along with the stuffed animal puppy from Kristine were some baked cookies! Yum ^^ I named the puppy "Itachi" after Kristine's favorite character in middle school. Emily's new best friend Kaleigh (a.k.a. Steve :D I call her Steve because that's what it says on her jacket she wears often) reminds me so much of Kristine, which makes me miss her more. Anyways...

I've gotten really attached to Kevin lately, but I guess I've gotten attached to all my close friends lately (Kevin A., other Kevin A.... actually Soph. Kevin, and Freshman Kevin :D There we go; Ben, and David. And maybe Gilbert.). Soph Kevin (forget it. I'm calling these peeps by their nicknames; Klink) gave me a big special dark chocolate Hershey bar [I don't like dark chocolate, but I don't mind]. David gave me a bag of chocolates :D Gilbert was absent, but gave me a black beret yesterday! [Yay!!! (At Disneyland, I kept asking to wear his tuba beret ^^)] Hmm...well the bandos are just so fun to be around.

Ahh...what else...After school, my brother (Alex) and I went to take our martial arts test at our academy to test for our purple belts. [Jin Pal Hapkido Martial Arts Academy] The test started at 6pm and I was slightly shaking a bit with nervousness. But I passed! Yay :D The test was very interesting. I thought the red belt test would be most interesting, but I was wrong; the blue-brown belts were most interesting. When the adult brown belt was going to do a front snap kick to break a board the two pieces flew up at the ceiling, which was intense. The self defense was interesting too with the falling back. It looks like they were going to break their necks! Well, I passed and I'm happy. The belts are a bit smaller then our last belts (orange), but whatever. After martial arts, my dad and mom took us out to go eat dinner. It was late, so it took us awhile to find a resturant, but we ate at My Nguyen (I think that's what it was called). I ate Pho Xao (Pho noodles with sauce and seafood combination on a platter). I love Pho Xao.

That's basically it for Friday.

On Saturday, I really wished to sleep in, but I guess my mom wouldn't let me. -sigh- Um...Saturday is kind of fuzzy, so...My parents cleaned the house...uh...We went to Mervins...twice o.o...That's all I remember :D Haha. Oh, yeah. I got so bored, I started making paper bag puppets with contruction paper of my friends and I. Yay for me and boredom. ON TO SUNDAY!

On Sunday...today ^^b...

Um...I slept last night with my dog (Casey; 2 year old chihuahua/pug mix) secretly [my parents hate it when I sleep with my dog :D], but, apparently, she woke me up early and I had a hard time going back to sleep. She kept licking my face and my hands and I kept thinking, "Ugh...Casey, go back to sleep." I eventually got up though...Eventually... :D Uh...Well, I basically just walked around the house, watched TV, played on the computer, and continued working on my paperbag puppets. My desk was covered with construction paper. I finished making Klink and I'm working on me right now. I didin't get to finish though. Apparently, my cousin Chi Phuong is over for Christmas from attending the University of Minnesota to be a doctor. So we went over to my cousin Tony's (Tony Nguyen; He's a senior at FVHS plays 1st clarinet in FVRR) and a little gettogether there with Tony's other cousins on my uncle's side--Bell and Chi. We hung out as the adults were downstairs, my dad made us take some studio pictures in my uncle's photo studio in the garage, sang Happy Birthday to Tony and Bell (it was belated, but -shrugs-), and just hung out again. Oh yes, we eat food and cake, too. Of course (and yet, I am tempted to say Por Supuesto, instead :D Yay for 1 semester Spanish. You should hear the 1 Semester Spanish song on Youtube).

Well, I'm just typing out this blog right now, as Bell, Chi, and Chi Phuong are looking over the photos my dad and uncle took in the studio. Bored to death, I think I shall end this blog now. I haven't typed this much in awhile. Haha. Write back later!

Overheard by Michelle

Brother: Mom! I'm not that smart!

Me: Oh, he finally admits it. Yay!

Brother: Shut up!

haha :D

This Video Makes Me Happy

"Daedelus - Fair Weather Friends"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRJ2YvRv3N4

It's An In-the-Middle Feeling

There are times where some of us, actually most of us, want not too much, not too little, but enough to satisfy them to a neutral point. Life's like that sometimes. In our everyday lives, we encounters too much stress, whether from too much homework, family annoyance, crush or relationship problems. A little bit of nothing, too is somewhat boring also. Think about your siblings being the nicest they can be (scary...BACK AWAY), your teachers not assigning any homework at all (actually, that might be really cool, but once you think about it...One Month later..."MY LIFE IS BORING D:" -cough- Yusra :D), or if everyday, talking to your friends would be a plain monotone.

I would say my life right now would be...I would say...hmm a little bit under neutral. I wish my teachers assigned more work to make me more motivated to do the little work they assign us (Yes, I know...I want more work :D). I'm kind of glad in a way with my stress level though. Usually, my mood swings take over when I think of having a crush on someone. Now I view my friends, whom I used to have crushes on or felt uncomfortable around because of my emotional reasons (not just cause of crushes), as everyone else without having that weird feeling. But that feeling though, as it goes away, becomes kind of a phobia for me or a foreirn language. That's alright though...for now. I love my friends, though I do wish I could be not ignored sometimes, which kind of happens a lot now during Eng with my pair of friends. -shrugs-

For health a long time ago, we had this thing called the Health Continuum and Mr. Birinyi had us determine where we are on the wellness chart. Towards more in the Unwell, in between, or Well. I before tilted a quarter into the unwellness area because of my major mood swings, but now I would say I would be a little bit off the middle towards well. Which is pretty good, but could be better as always. As Mr. Birinyi said today "This proves that woman can never be satisfied." :D

P.S. Forgive my many uses of chatroom smilies. It's gotten into a habit. >_> See? But I like showing expressions =] O_O.....great...what a habit lol (-scratches out lol and replaces with haha-) Must...restrain...self...from using smilie)

Overheard in FVHS

I think I'm getting addicted to wanting to post on Overheard in FVHS or at elast want to read it :D haha, weirdo me ^^

The Cycle of My Interests

I have have different periods of a certain subject in my life. Sometimes I have long periods of drawing. And in those periods of drawing, I have different subperiods (abnormal alien humans, Neopets, pirates, animal cartoons, anime characters, manga creating, comics, etc. ec.). Sometimes, when I'm not in a drawing period, I'm thinking on and on, writing stories and trying to finish them. (I was never good at finishing story lines). But I suppose blogging a lot last month was a period of writing, also. There are also other periods where I read a lot, but, lately, those periods have been shortened a lot. And other times, like right now, I'm in my video-making period. It's not that lost interest in writing completely. I'm just a strange person like that. When I start thinking of great ideas randomly out of my lil head, I'm a determined person to get it out and express it, before I let it go and forget. And I am an extremely forgetful person. But I enjoy this cycle of interests of mine, though. It helps me explore new options and styles and master my skills even better.